Random Updates

I think of this blog in two major ways. #1 it is for venting my frustrations and sadness, anger and all the other emotions that go along with infertility. #2 is as a chronicle for my life in this time. Hopefully this will help me to remember what it was like and what worked and what did not. We eventually hope to have two kiddos so we will be doing this more than once. This way I have all the side effects documented and can hopefully go into the second round of baby making with my eyes wide open.

Okay, on to my random updates:

• I finished Letrozole yesterday. Thank goodness! I haven't been as weepy these past two days. I have however been a bit queasy, especially when I look at food. Plus I have slept around 10 hours per night most of this week.
• Monday marks CD12 so I go to my RE for an ultrasound to see if the Letrozole has worked at all. Keep your fingers crossed.
• In non-IF news, our pup apparently has Kennel Cough from the shelter. She sounds like she has something stuck in her throat that she can't get out. My sweet hubby took her downstair to roam so that I could sleep since I have to work today. She seemed to cough less when she could roam around.
• We are in the middle of a major backyard overhaul. Our backyard looks more like a major jeep trail than a yard. It is tiny, but steep & rocky. So we are currently putting in a retaining wall. When I got home from work yesterday, we mixed 11 bags of concrete to fill the cinderblocks. My hubby is astounding. He set up drainage and everything. Despite the fact that he only got a couple of hours of sleep, he went to the store to buy more concrete (which is a big deal when you live in the middle of nowhere). With a pup and no back fence, life is hard. She has been getting about 6 walks each day. Good for loosing weight, but not for being able to do anything else.

So that about it for today. And thats enough. Anything else and I might have to scream. Too much at once. We probably should have waited to get the pup, but once we saw her in the shelter, there was no going back. Her big hound eyes and floppy ears got me right away.

Hopefully once the yard is finished we can get back to finishing our kitchen makeover (our townhouse was built in 74 so we have awesome harvest gold countertops!). Or maybe we could take a break from the projects and have a nice quiet month or so. Yeah right, if the hubby and I don't have projects, we would go nuts. Luckily we are both that way or we would probably get on each other's nerves.

So thats all. Hope all of you out there in the world are having a nice mellow Saturday. Enjoy it cause when I get home, I get to mix more cement!

PETA's Response

As with nearly all of the letters that I have read, this one completely misses the point. Yes they have now taken down the "in honor of" part, but they still refer to NIAW.

Dear Lissie,

Thank you for contacting PETA about your objections to our contest offering a free vasectomy; please allow me to respond for Ingrid. We are sorry to have offended you, and we have removed the phrase “in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week” from our website. We understand that this was not a wise choice of words.

Our goal was to focus attention on the tragic suffering and death of homeless dogs and cats. Since the best way to prevent animal companions from having unwanted litters is to spay and neuter them, a kind PETA member offered to cover the cost of a vasectomy for one compassionate man who wants to get himself “snipped” just like his furry friend.

To learn more about our efforts to address the animal overpopulation crisis, please visit <http://www.PETA.org/issues/companion-animals/spay-neuter.aspx> http://www.PETA.org/issues/companion-animals/spay-neuter.aspx. Thank you again for contacting us and for the opportunity to share our thoughts.
Sincerely,

Zoe Rappoport
Correspondent
PETA Foundation

Today is a Bit Better

I've only cried once so far! That is big since yesterday's grand total was 7 crying episodes.

After my fun little episode at work (which my coworkers helped me make light of) my hubby texted me with pictures of our trashed bedroom. The pup had broken her kennel and torn up everything she could find. Thankfully the bedroom door was closed or the whole house would be wrecked.

We are hoping that the kennel will be temporary. Once she is house trained we want to only use the kennel for traveling.

Needless to say, a wrecked room wasn't what I needed yesterday. So the hubby got beer & chocolate. Then I vegged out and watched River Monsters all evening. And I even have a beer left for tonight!

My Letter to PETA

As many of you know, PETA screwed up big time. Below is my letter to them. Its much less eloquent than many others I have read, but thats just me.


Dear Ms Newkirk,

As you might have guessed, I am writing to you because I am VERY upset by PETA's Win a Free Vasectomy contest. I have no problem with the contest itself. It is the fact that you have choosen to make it "in honor" of National Infertility Awareness Week. You might as well offer free candy for Diabetes Awareness Week.

 

I could happily support offering a vasectomy to someone who needs it, but I don't think I could ever support PETA again because of this. It is cruel and hurtful to those of us suffering from infertility. You can spout off about how we should adopt all you want. You obviously don't know what that entails. I personally don't have $25,000 to spare to adopt a baby.

 

Most of us don't want you to cancel you contest, we just want you to get rid of the "in honor of National Infertility Awareness Week" portion. Give a vasectomy. Great. Just don't piss off 7.3 million Americans while you do it.

 

And please don't say you are sorry that we are upset. That isn't an apology. It is just telling us that you don't hear what we are saying or that you don't care.

 

If you want to actually honor National Infertility Awareness Week, do it by offering to help with the costs of domestic adoption for one infertile couple. That would not only keep the population from going up, it would help a child in need of a home.

 

Sincerely,

Lissie

Letrozole Sucks!

At my RE's office they told me Letrozole (aka Femara) would likely have less side effects than Clomid. Wow were they wrong!

I work on the teller line at a small community bank. There are only 6 employees in the whole branch. We have a decent amount of time when there are no customers, so we joke around a lot. One of the employees is a high schooler. She cracks us up. She loves watching Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant. So one of my coworkers jokingly asked if I had recorded Teen Mom on the DVR. Without thinking I popped back with "Oh yeah, thats just what I want to watch. A bunch of bimbos getting knocked up without trying when I can't get pregnant." Then I cried.

Ask me on a normal day and I might say "No thanks, not my style of show." But today, wow! My poor coworker didn't know what to do. Luckily they know whats going on so I just said "Sorry, I'm on new meds." But now he won't joke with me as much. I really hope that a moment of weepiness doesn't ruin the great big brother/little sister type of relationship that we have. I tried to make light of it by telling them about my earlier crying jag over my pup.

Sadly thats not even my first weepy moment of the day. Its not even my 2nd. Its my 3rd! I cried this morning when I had to crate the new pup. She is in the process of potty training so she goes in the crate til the hubby comes home at lunch. I felt so guilty I was bawling. That lasted til I got to work (all puffy-eyed). Then on my lunch break my mother-in-law called and left me the sweetest message. Which made me bawl again.

If I cry 4-5 times a day every day that I'm on this stuff, I'm gonna scream! I will be fine one minute and them crying uncontrolably the next. Its very different than Clomid or even Provera. With those I could control it to keep cool at work, but I'm worried it will happen at work again.

Think happy thoughts. Thats what I need to keep telling myself.

Inara, Our New Pup

Meet Inara, our new dog! She is about a year and a half old. We are adopting her from a nearby animal shelter. She is a hound mix. We get to bring her home today! The hubby and I originally decided that we would get another dog when we had a kiddo who could ask for one. Since that is taking longer than planned, we skipped ahead.

We had a dog until a year and a half ago. Socrates was at least 14 years old and his body just gave out. He was the sweetest, most lovable dog imaginable. So after having the dog of all dogs, we thought it would be hard to find another dog to love as much. We were spoiled by having a dog who was pretty sure he was a person.

So today we bring Inara home. And to those of you who are nerds like me, yes she is named after Inara from Firefly.

It should be an interesting couple of days. We currently have two female cats, Cali & Lola. Inara was super mellow when we played with her at the shelter, but you never can tell. Animals act so differently in a shelter setting than when they are in a home. We are hoping she stays mellow, but becomes less scared when she gets comfortable. We are REALLY hoping she doesn't chase cats! Cali can hold a grudge like a champ. If Inara chases her too much, she will be pissed at us and ignore us for weeks. She is a peculiar cat. She at least has dog experience. We had her when we had our old dog, plus we had her when we had doggie visiters. Lola has never met a dog. We got her as a kitten. She is usually a very mellow cat, but when we came home smelling like dog after going to the shelter, she flipped. Her tail was so puffed out!

So I'll keep you posted! And I'll put up more pictures soon. The one here is of her at the shelter.

A Little Bit Better

Family life is a bit better. My Grandma seems to be doing okay. Her two sisters are still in the hospital, but both are improving. I'm still worried and I think I'm gonna go home for a visit next month. Money is tight with all these stinkin medical bills, but some things are more important.

I start Letrozole today. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I will have less side effects from this than from Clomid. Keep your fingers crossed!