Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Why am I Suddenly Terrified?

I have been doing fine most of the time. Going from one ultrasound to the next was a bit unnerving, but I was nauseous so I figured everything was fine. Now that the nausea is gone, I'm starting to worry. Since the transfer, I have lost almost 30 pounds. At first I wasn't worried because I was so nauseous that I wasn't eating much. Now I'm not feeling so crummy and I'm trying to eat more. All the books say that I should be slowly starting to gain weight, but when I stepped on the scale this morning I was down another pound.

I'm not too worried because I am overweight. By quite a bit. Well it was quite a bit at my top weight, now its down to just overweight. My top weight included 8 pounds of water weight from my retrieval. So I'm really only down about 22 pounds of my actual weight.

But it has been a long time since I was down this low. Like college. Dorm food was helpful for loosing weight. Now its just that I'm eating healthy. Previously we tried to eat veggies, but there were definitely days that we didn't have any. Now I'm often eating a salad (with carrots, cheese, sunflower seeds, chickpeas & ham) for lunch, carrots & cucumbers or apples for snacks and two types of veggies at least with dinner. Most of the carbs I get are from my snacks between meals. Pretzel sticks and the like. Right now I'm munching on some Teddy Grahams. But it still seems strange to be loosing this much weight. I'm almost 11 weeks so thats more than 2 pounds per week of total loss.

Part of me is totally excited about the loss, but most of me is worried. I am now terrified that my doc is gonna flip tomorrow when I tell her.

I'm also just scared. For no specific reason. Just terrified. I'm hoping tomorrow eases my fears, at least for a few days.


  1. I'm sorry you're feeling this way :( I hope tomorrow brings you some peace! I know this probably won't make you feel better, but my friend initially lost a lot of weight during her first trimester, then ended up gaining the appropriate amount during the second and third. She is 5'7 and at her non-pregnant "heaviest" weighed 130 pounds, so she was really worried about the weight loss too, but everything turned out okay. I hope all goes well tomorrow!!! Good luck!

  2. Thinking of u and hoping tomorrow goes well for u! I've heard several women lose weight at the beginning so try not to be too alarmed. praying for ya and hoping u have better days ahead of u :)

  3. Have you mentioned your weight concerns to your doctor before this? EVERYONE is different. I lost 5lbs in the first trimester, and I think I was finally up 3lbs pre-pregnancy at my 20wk appointment. My doctor is happy with that, because the entire time baby is just fine. That's what really matters. The weight gain is just an average or expected, but it is by no means a one size fits all. And many woman lose weight in the first trimester because of morning sickness.

    Hope the appointment goes well! Good luck.