Thursday, December 29, 2011

I Told Myself I Wouldn't Do This

A friend of mine spent nearly every week in the OBs office. She is a very worry-natured person. She always had something that she was concerned about. And now that her baby is here, her baby has been to the doc more than any other I know. She isn't quite a hypochondriac, but she is close. And proud of it. Hubby & I are often told stories about the terrible outcome of some other friend who didn't go to the doc at the drop of a hat. We are frequently cautioned that if we don't do the same, terrible things will happen.

I have learned to take this all with a grain of salt and make my normal decisions. I tend to fall somewhere in the middle. I am not opposed to going to the doc more than the normal amount if needed, but I'm not going to run in for every little thing. Luckily my mom is an RN and a call to her usually lets me know which way to go.

All that being said, I made a last minute appointment with my OB yesterday and in the end, I am glad I did! I figured they would tell me it was all normal and just to live with it, but that's not how it went. I felt silly, as though I was being like my friend, over reacting.

For the past week or so, I have been noticing that (this is going to get a bit TMI so feel free to skip) my pants and undies were riding up uncomfortably when I sat at work. I was figuring that maybe it was time for maternity underwear. It tried several different kinds, all with the same uncomfortable result. I tried wearing a dress and felt much better.

Over the holiday weekend, the uncomfortable sensations in my lady bits increased. I felt like I was bruised and swollen. We went shopping the day after Christmas and bought a stroller (more on that later). By the second store, I was totally worn out and hurting. The achy, bruised feeling had moved into my inner thighs so walking was less than pleasant.

The internet and my mom both felt that it was likely from the position of the baby. I did find one thing that mentioned an infection causing similar symptoms, but only one compared to the tons mentioning the baby's position.  So I waited to see if it would get better. By the time I got home from work on Tuesday, I was hurting a lot! So Wednesday morning I put in a call to the OB. I talked to a nurse around lunch time and they had me in by 3:30. She told me she was mostly bringing me in to calm my worries :) They are great!

After measuring my uterus, the midwife I was seeing pressed on the ligaments to see if I had pulled anything and sure enough it hurt. So somehow I pulled a ligament that supports the uterus. So from now on, I get to wear a super sexy pregnancy support belt. It is surprisingly comfy, but it makes my belly have a funny shape. Fin is also entertained by it. He seems to like punching it when I sit down. It is super cute.

The midwife also did an exam of the lady bits and she thinks I also have an infection. I'm still waiting for the results to know how to proceed there. But basically, it was not the baby's position at all.

I'm very glad I went. I'm trying to learn to trust my body, but its very hard. IF has taught me that my body fails me left and right, but it seems to be doing well with pregnancy. I need to remember to listen to it more and trust what it tells me. Maybe one day I will...

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Woo Hoo!

Well, as of yesterday, no matter how you count it (on Thursdays which works with the day of conception or on Saturdays which works with how he is growing), Mr. Fin has reached 24 weeks and the point of viability! I keep telling him that even though he might be able to survive it, he should stay inside for at least 14 more weeks.

But we have hit the point where I told myself I would feel more comfortable with buying stuff. And its a good thing because when hubby got home from work one day this week, there was a very large box on the door stop. That big box contained THIS!!!

Its our baby's crib! Isn't it pretty! Currently the box is sitting on the landing between the downstairs and upstairs. We aren't going to get it out until we know if we will be in this house, so it could be a couple of months before I can take a picture of it all put together in our house.

Well, thats about all for now. Hope everyone has a great holiday! Eat lots of tasty treats and enjoy the family time!

24 Weeks and 3 Days!
I took my jacket off for two minutes to take the picture. Its COLD!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

I Give

Alright, I'm done trying. I failed at the challenge so now I'm done.

And on to other things...

I originally planned to chronicle everything about this pregnancy and I have not totally done that. I have put up my ultrasounds and mentioned the big things, but I'm not keeping up with everything as well as I had hoped to. So I'm going to break down and do one of those less fun bullet posts just to keep records of how this has all gone for myself.

  • Fin is moving around like crazy!!!!! I first felt him around 19 weeks, but wasn't totally sure of what I felt. When we got back from Thanksgiving, I was pretty sure of what I was feeling. In the past 2 weeks though, there is no question. He is a wiggler!!! Anytime I sit or lay down (or apparently talk or write about him) he starts wiggling like crazy. Last night, I'm pretty sure he did a couple of flips.
  • We still have no clue what is going to happen with hubby's job. He is officially out of a job in 2 months!!! He is currently still trying to get the company funded that would allow him to stay here along with applying for jobs all over. So far he has applied in DC, Virginia, Maryland, California & Illinois. The upside of moving to any of those places is they are all much closer to or in big cities so finding a great OB shouldn't be too hard. The down side, I would be finding a new OB at 6 weeks til my due date!!!
  • I'm actually to the point of feeling pretty good most of the time as long as I don't over do it.
  • This past weekend, I over did it. We went to a hockey game in Abq which was nearly a 2 hour drive. Then several hours sitting in the crummy chairs at the arena then 2 more hours home. It was rough. At least I planned ahead and brought protein rich snacks!
  • Sleeping is getting harder every day! I cannot even imagine how I will function in a couple of months!
  • I had a nose bleed nearly every day last week. Its getting really old. Especially since it starts while I am sleeping and laying sort of half on my side and half on my back so it goes down my throat and I end up hocking up nastiness all morning (I know, disgusting, sorry for over sharing).Today I was even late to work because my nose wouldn't stop for an hour and a half.
  • We are having people over for an Iron Chef type dinner where everyone brings something with the "secret ingredient" which is pineapple. Our last one was a big hit (blood orange) so we figured we would try a holiday edition. I am totally stressed out about it. I get off work at 6 and everyone will get here at about the same time as I get home. I like having time to be mellow when I get home. I am worried that I may be too worn out, especially since I have to work the next day.
  • I have already gained the amount of weight that I had hoped to gain in the entire pregnancy! My doc isn't worried, but I'm trying to reign in the less healthy foods, of course Christmas time is not a great time for that :)
Well thats all my mushy brain can come up with. I think its all the blood loss. My head is killing me, so I'm gonna go stare off into space til I get to go home :)

Thursday, December 15, 2011

I Fail

I suck at these challenges! I'm going to keep trying, but well you have seen how successful I have been so far :)

Day 8 - Describe your dream vacation.

An entire summer in Europe with the hubby. That would give us time to hit all the usual spots, plus find some fun off the beaten path places (and of course several weeks for me to get lost in the Louvre).
Day 9 - List 5 things you want to do before you die.

1. The above vacation.

2. Hold my baby boy.

3. Learn to weld. Hubby can teach me at some point, but I need the patience to let him and the patience to practice. I have this terrible tendency to want to be great at something the moment I learn to do it. And if I'm not, I tend to move on to a new project.

4. Ride one of those cool zip lines through the rain forest.

5. Have one of my projects featured on a crayola site. Oh wait I just did that :) If you go to the Crayola Play Sand Facebook site, the current project listed is directly from my website!!! I feel a bit famous :)
Day 10 - What is your favorite book?

Impossible to choose. I can't even narrow it down to my top 10.
Day 11 - If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?

This one is repetitive. I already listed thing I wanna do before I die so take three of those and there you go :)
Day 12 - List 5 pet peeves.

1. Smelly people!!! I work in a customer service area and man, some people stink!! Some its cigarettes, some its bad breath (lots of older folks in my area), some its just bad hygiene. I want to hand out breathe mints & soap as freebies instead of lollipops and pens!

2. Grown ups who consistently baby talk to their kids. I'm fine with some baby talk when they are babies, but when they are toddlers who are beginning to speak, talk to them properly! They learn from you. If you baby talk to them, that is how they will learn to speak.

3. People who assume you political view will match theirs and start complaining to you without verifying if they are bitching about the person you voted or plan to vote for. It happens a lot with customers. They walk in and start complaining about Obama. I'm a democrat. Granted, he could do better, but I'll choose him over Gingrich any day. But my point is, no matter what your take on politics is, make sure you are complaining to someone who isn't getting pissed about what you are saying.

4. Stupid misspellings and people who don't fix them even when Windows tells them that its spelled wrong. And I'm not talking about an occasional missed word. I am talking about the people who constantly misspell words on their FB posts and such. Its infuriating.

5. Having to run pee every twenty mintues. Its not cool that pregnancy makes me SOOOOOOOOO thirsty and then makes me have to pee twice as much! (But I still wouldn't trade it for anything!!!)

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Day 6 & 7 with a Belly Shot

Day 5: A picture of something that makes me happy. 

So I of course have several pictures. The two things that make me happiest right now are my belly and Christmas. So pics of both!
After being shocked by our old lights, we went LED this year and I LOVE them! They are so bright!

Our tree and stockings. And yes there are only two of us, but we have the kitties and puppy. I still need a stocking for the pup since he is new to our family this year. I am going to wait until next year to get one for Fin.

22 weeks and one day. AKA Fin and his first Christmas tree.

Me & Lola during "Lola upside down time."  She is a funny cat. And yes that's the messy house I referred to in my list of things about me.

Day 6: Where do you shop?

Mostly We live in a town with one grocery store, a Bealls and a small local departments store. Its an hour to Santa Fe with more stores and an hour 45 mins to Albuquerque with all of the stores. We don't go to Abq often so we usually stick with Santa Fe and Amazon. 

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Days 4 & 5

Day 4 - If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills, of course) list 10 material possessions you would buy for yourself.

1. A brand new Dodge Charger.

2. A brand new Dodge Challenger for hubby.

3. Design and renovate a room to be an art studio.

4. Kiln for my art studio.

5. Glass blowing lessons.

6. A newer, bigger house.

7. A vacation house in Texas, probably in the Hill Country.

8. A giant whirlpool tub.

9. A pool & hot tub for our newer house.

10. Foosball table (I could get one now, but would need the bigger house first).
Day 5 - 15 facts about yourself.

1. I am a messy person. I couldn't stand to live in a house that is super neat. It makes me twitchy. I love my nice messy house.

2. I really miss teaching and wish I could handle being on my feet that much.

3. My hubby calls me a Christmas crack head. I LOVE Christmas time. The lights and the tree and the family. I love it all.

4. I am addicted to feeling the kiddo move! Just in the past 3 days, I have started feeling movements several times a day.

5. I have a hopeless addiction to TV shows with a supernatural theme from the 90s & 00s. Examples: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel & Charmed. I am currently rewatching Charmed on Netflix.

6. I also have a hopeless addiction to trashy romance novels. I tried to keep track of how many I read last year. I know I missed some, but I counted 67 for sure.

7. I am also very cheap in my romance novel addiction. I generally get them from a local thrift store where they usually cost around 10 cents each. I only buy 3 or 4 new each year.

8. I have come to like the snow. I hated the cold so much at first when we moved from Texas, that I couldn't appreciate the snow. But now that we are in our second winter with not much snow so far, I miss it.

9. Garlic bread may be the best food on the planet. And thats not just a pregnancy craving talking. I have always loved it!

10. I am an annoying in between size in almost everything. My pants are too long if I get longs and too short if I get regulars. Larges are too small and XLs are too big in many shirts (except over the girls, there XLs fit). I am even technically in between cup sizes for my bra! I wish clothes fit better.

11. Monkeys are awesome. I know this isn't technically about me, but I guess I could say, I think monkeys are awesome.

12. I'm apparently very boring because this is way too hard!

13. Currently Fruit Loops are my new craving.

14. Even though I like the snow, I really want to be on a beach right now!!!

15. In 5 more minutes I will close my window and head home to a big bowl of chili and cornbread!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011


No more placenta previa!!!

Huge sigh of relief. Plus on the way home from the docs, I was talking to my dad and Fin kicked me 4 times in a row! I was totally psyched! I have an anterior placenta so I don't feel as much as lots of ladies by this point. My dad started laughing and said "Well, alright, he loves his old grandpa!" It was really cute.

Unfortunenately now I have no worry to distract me from the big scary prospect of hubby's job ending. We should have some word this week on the possibility of his getting converted to staff, but who knows when the final word will come. His job is over in Feb if he doesn't get converted. So we may be moving when I'm 7.5 months pregnant! And who knows where we would be moving.

So one big yay! I'm just gonna focus on that! Oh and Fin is measuring in the 54% which is GREAT! I forgot to get the pictures scanned, but maybe tonight. We got a pretty cute profile, but mostly the freaky Skeletor face :)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Day 3 & Fingers Crossed

Day 3 - What's in your makeup bag?
Well, lately it doesn't matter because I haven't worn makeup in months. I should restart at some point, but sleep is so much more important :)
I do have a makeup metal lunchbox (it from the show Firefly, yep I'm a nerd). It has a bit of everything from stuff that's exclusively for costumes to my regular powder and mascara. Pretty boring.
Well now I'm off to the Perinatologist!! I get to see Fin again soon. Fingers crossed for a moved placenta!!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Day 2

30 Day Challenge

Day 2: What's in your handbag?

Well, Chapstick (I'm addicted to one specific kind so there are usually 3 or 4 in my purse at any given moment), wallet full of cards & such, Glucose Meter (no GD and my readings are PERFECT!), pink alligator print zipper case with nail file & clippers and such, mini first aide kit, cell phone, fold up hairbrush, lots of random reciepts, and a random trashy romance novel (todays is called The Truth about Lord Stoneville).

In other news, totally unrelated to my purse, today I had my first super dizzy spell followed by a massive hot flash. In the past few days, I have had several hot flashes. I have had several dizzy spells, but all the past ones have been when I got up too fast. This one today was crazy. I was standing at a work station and started having that head swimming feeling followed by extreme nausea. I just stood there. One of my co-workers came back and saw me looking funny. He walked me back to my chair (I could not have made it on my own). After about 5 minutes it was gone, but wow, it was crazy! I'm a bit terrified of driving. If that happened on some of the roads here in the mountains, it would be bad. I'll have to talk to my doc about it tomorrow.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

30 Day Challenge

Day 1 - What is the meaning behind your blog name?
Day 2 - What's in your handbag?
Day 3 - What's in your makeup bag?
Day 4 - If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills, of course) list 10 material possessions you would buy for yourself.
Day 5 - 15 facts about yourself.
Day 6- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 7 - Where do you like to shop?
Day 8 - Describe your dream vacation.
Day 9 - List 5 things you want to do before you die.
Day 10 - What is your favorite book?
Day 11 - If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?
Day 12 - List 5 pet peeves.
Day 13 - List 5 guilty pleasures.
Day 14 - Put your iPad on shuffle.  List the first 10 songs that play.
Day 15 - Show your favorite outfit or fashion pieces.
Day 16 - How did you and your partner decide when you were ready to start trying to conceive?
Day 17 - Discuss the most ridiculous thing you ever heard about conception. Where did you hear it? Did it work for someone else? Did you try it?
Day 18 - Besides Mothers Day, what is the hardest holiday for you as an infertile?
Day 19 - Write a letter (one that you never have to send) to a fertile in your life. Did they hurt you? Support you? Tell them how you feel, all the things you can’t bring yourself to say in person.
Day 20 - Discuss how you found your way into the ALI community, and what being part of it has meant to you – good and bad.
Day 21 - If you had gotten pregnant that first month you started trying, how would you have been a different parent? What changes have you made to your parenting style (either current or future) in the time you spent trying to conceive?
Day 22 - What was the first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made? Was it before or after you started trying to conceive? Or was it after you were already pregnant?  Why did you choose that particular item to buy first? If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?
Day 23 - Talk about how you chose your RE.
Day 24 - If a very observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with infertility?
Day 25 - Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility?
Day 26 - Were you the product of infertility? Was anyone you know the product of infertility? How do you know? Or do you just suspect based on circumstances like age differences between siblings, time between marriage and conception, etc.
Day 27 - Talk about a time when you made someone in your life understand more about infertility.
Day 28 - What do you use the “nursery” for right now? If you already had a baby, what did you use it for before pregnancy?
Day 29 - If you had known that you would have trouble conceiving, what would you have done differently in life? If you already knew, did that knowledge affect your other life choices?
Day 30 -Tell us about a friendship you lost or a relationship that changed for the worse because of infertility.

Day 1 - What is the meaning behind your blog name?

Well, that started out as a snarky statement of my crappy luck, turned into a celebration of great luck. When I started this blog, nothing in my life was going as planned. I had recently found out that I didn't have a crippling disorder that I thought I had for 20 years. While I am totally aware that was GREAT luck, it threw my world into a tailspin. It took a while to figure out who I was. So I consider the 20 years of false identity as the unluckiness. 

Since then we have done IVF and I am now 21 weeks and 3 days. My luck has changed a lot. I still feel like at any moment the old crummy luck will be back, but I am hoping to at least get to hold my little man before it is back.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Why I am Actually Liking my OB

I had heard some stories from several different people that made me leary of staying witht he same OBGYN that I've seen since we moved here. Most included being induced for various reasons that didn't seem good enough to me. But so far, I'm actually loving my OB.

For one, she told me where to order great maternity clothes online :) I know thats not really a  reason to love an OB, but it made me feel comfortable talking to her.

But the main reason that she is awesome is how she treats fertility patients! They allowed me not to get a pap as early in the pregnancy if I wanted to, because of the likelyhood of bleeding. They assured me that the pap was not risky, but that many women who have dealt with IF are worried about any bleeding. I went ahead and got it over with, but I greatly appreciated the option.

When I spoke to the doc about wanting to keep things as natural as possible, she totally understood. She did caution me not to get to set on one direction since birth is different for everyone and things can happen unexpectedly.

We also talked about whether or not I am actually high risk. With the placenta previa I am if it doesn't move, but mostly they call all women who have done IVF high risk. She implied that it is more for our benefit since being high risk gets you more ultrasounds and more monitoring. She expressed that they take it very seriously that we have put so much into getting where we are. She even said that she completely realizes that if we loose our baby, we may never get another chance. We can't just go home and do the nasty and end up preggo again.

I am completely butchering our talk, but it was great and it made me feel like she really understands what we (preggo IFers) are going through. Its an odd place to be. We are so excited to be here, but so scared too.