How Has It Been 10 Days??

I am astounded that it has already/only been 10 days. I go back and forth between thinking how can it have only been 10 days and how can it already have been 10 days. It feels like he has been part of our lives forever. But that might be the sleep deprivation talking. 

Fin's 1 week Birthday!

Me, Fin & my Mom (thank god she came out. More on that in the birth story)

Just too cute for words! (I especially love hearing that my nephew who is almost 3 said "Uh oh Mikey!" in a very concerned voice!)

My little monkey cuddling in the quilt made my his great grandma and his Oma. Plus I love the cute pacifier with the giraffe attached. He automatically cuddles it! I planned to avoid the paci for at least a month, but this little man has to be sucking on something so the paci was the only thing that has saved my boobs :)

Well, I'm off to take a nap while the munchkin is sleeping since he only sleeps during the day currently!

The New Guy!

Finley William was born on Friday at 7:34pm. He weighs 7lbs 8oz and is 19.5 inches long.

Labor was rough. I will write up the full story in the next few days, but first here are a few pictures!

40 weeks and 1 day! Just admitted.

Fin, our grumpy little man, about three or four minutes old!

Our first family picture!

 

Little munchkin.

Daddy & Fin

Dear Fin

Well little man, you will be here any day now. Your official due date is tomorrow. I am picking up your Oma (German for Grandma) from the airport shuttle at 11am. You are free to show up any time after that although the weather is doing crazy things so if this storm brings you today, that's okay too.

I can't believe that you are really going to be here. You still feel like a dream. We have wanted you for so long. I can't wait to see your beautiful face. And see what color your hair is. I'm hoping for blond since both your daddy & I had blond hair when we were babies (although I was pretty much bald at birth). The ultrasounds show that you already have a good bit of hair so hurry on out so I can see it!

I keep imagining your adorable cheeks and lips. I can't wait to see your cute lips. You have been making super cute faces in your ultrasound. I bet you will have lips like your daddy. Most women would be jealous of the great color of his lips, like the best lipstick ever.

Well now I'm going to go for a long walk to try to help bring you out to this side quicker.
Love Momma

I Think We are as Ready as We Can Be

And thank goodness since he is due in 3 days!!! I just finished with my last (as of now, but who knows what I may come up with later) prep in his room and our room to get ready for him. Below are pics of all of our baby ready stuff.

Munchkin's room.

Munchkin's closet with most of his newborn and 0-3 month stuff. Plus a very curious kitty.

Daddy's drawing of me & Fin :) He has a white board in his room so I'm sure he will get lots of funny drawings throughout the years.

The baby side of the room. The other side is the guest bedroom side.

The other bookshelf of baby stuff.

Glider in our room. I love craigslist! $100 and it was brand new in packaging!

Awesome bassinet that a friend is lending to us. So nice to have friends who are willing to share!

Cute elephant humidifier. Don't recommend this brand if you have hard water. Our water is crazy hard and after less than a month its causing problems. And we have cleaned it out and maintained it as recommended, but the calcium build up is CRAZY!! We have had others that worked much better, but they aren't cute little elephants.

Borrowed swing (again, love my awesome friends), birthing ball, breastfeeding pillow & playpen (the gray bundle) all ready to be put to use.

ADORABLE sock monkey hat that my sister-in-law Liz made! I still have to add black button eyes. I can't wait to get a picture of him in it!!

So I think that we have most of what we need. We have a good stock of diapers for the first few weeks. The baby tub and towels are in the bathroom. Cloth diapers are in the laundry. So here we go...

10 Days!!!

Wow, I am due in 10 days. It is hard to believe. I can't believe I made it here.

Some days I am totally ready to be done and totally ready to hold this baby, but today I am sad. Today I keep thinking that in a few days, I will never feel him kick inside me again. As I sit here, laid back against the couch because he is so low that sitting forward is excruciating, I am not ready to be done. Tomorrow that will likely change. Hell tonight when I get up to pee for the 6th time and it takes 45 minutes to get back to sleep it will change. But right now its sad.

I know the minute I see him it will be great and seeing him smile and giggle and wiggle will be so much better. But I'm afraid that I might never get to be pregnant again. I'm afraid that our 4 frosties will not get us a 2nd baby. I have been having dreams about them. Not exactly nightmares, but not good dreams. I'm not sure what spurred the dreams, but it has me worried that our little frostie babies might not get Fin a sibling.

And if they don't, I'm not sure I can face IVF again. The thought of doing IVF with a toddler terrifies me. Our geographic location is part of it. I am 2 hours from my RE. I plan to be a stay at home mom. What am I going to do with Fin on monitoring days? How can I be a good mom when the drugs make me cry all the time? Where will we get the money when we will likely still be paying off our first IVF?

All of these things make me scared that I am in the last few days of my only pregnancy. I know how lucky I am to be here and I think that's why I am so not ready for it to end. People constantly ask me is I'm at the point of being so ready for it to end. When I was working, the answer was yes. Now that I'm done (oh yeah, I officially quit my job!) I'm mostly enjoying it. Some things are hard, but not having to do much makes it doable.

But I can't be pregnant forever and I really wouldn't want to be. But a part of me will always miss the amazing feeling of having this little life inside of me.