Obsessed

Have I mentioned that I'm obsessed? I try to do other things. I'm rereading a series that I love. We are doing major kitchen construction. I'm going home to Texas in two days. But still I'm obsessed.

I keep researching to see if I can find the IVF meds cheaper. We are currently going with Make Me Fertile out of Israel. I felt a bit strange about it at first, but then I called them and the guy was super knowledgable and helpful. So here we go. I applied for a new credit card that has 18 months interest free. So as long as I pay $120 per month, I will never have to pay interest on the meds.

I have spend around 6 hours so far today reading other IF blogs. Currently I found a lady who just had a little girl. So I went back to the beginning of her blog and am working my way to now. I find that if I know there is a happy ending, I can read about her 3 miscarriages much more easily.

I just keep thinking "If it works the first time, I will have a 5 week old baby by this time next year." I really need to not let my hopes get so high. I can't handle the disappointment. We can only afford to do this once. We have one fresh and one frozen cycle. Thats pretty much it. If we don't get a baby from either of those, we have to stop and rethink. We will be paying for these cycles for 3 years. Ideally we will pay them off early, but I'm not counting on it.

I have no idea what we will do if it doesn't work...