It seems like thats all I can do lately. I am starting to get annoyed with myself. But so much has happened in the last two weeks. I can't seem to process it all.
I am now heavily into planning my friend's baby shower. We will call her S. As you can imaging, its not the easiest thing in the world for me to do. Luckily I am working with a lady who knows the perfect way to make me feel better. Alcohol & snarkiness! We sat together last Saturday for 5 hours making invitations (yep making by hand) sipping drinks and talking a lot of trash. It made the whole process much easier.
Then on Sunday I had to go shopping with the friend whose shower we are planning. She needed to go register and has NO CLUE about anything baby. Another friend was supposed to go to so I could back out if needed, but that friend ended up spending the weekend hugging the toilet with food poisoning. So I felt like I couldn't leave S alone in a world she is unfamiliar with. I have at least babysat and know what most of the stuff is. So we spend 3.5 hours wandering though Babies-R-Us. Can you say "Living Hell?" I must have seen hundreds of preggo ladies! And hundreds more babies! (Okay so maybe not hundreds, but a lot)
And to make it all worse, it was Mother's Day. This was supposed to be my first Mother's Day with a kiddo. That was the plan. But instead I am stuck in this hellish place. Limbo. All I can do right now is wait. So Grumble, Grumble, Grumble.
Since it was Mother's Day I of course called my mom. And as usual she filled me in on family news. She knows how hard it is for me to hear preggo news so she asked if wanted to know first. I of course had to know once she said that. One of my trashiest cousins is preggo. In a previous post I mentioned an incident where one cousin pushed a table into my grandma. Well this girl is the sister of that cousin. She is two years younger than me and already has one kid (father is totally unknown as is the father of the new one). My mom then made a joke about this being her replacement baby. Apparently, her first son is now in foster care after being taken away by the state. (I am fully aware of how bad my mom sounds for making that joke, but its one of those laugh or cry situations) I am totally not surprised that her kid was taken away. At my wedding two years ago he was around 3 years old. He pushed his stroller out onto the dance floor and started pushing it into all of the dancers and laughing when it hurt them. My hubby ended up taking the stroller away from him and he ran off crying. His mom and grandparents were laughing about what he was doing. Between that and knowing that when she got pregnant the first time, she didn't know who the father was because she was working as a prostitute, I am so not surprised that he was taken away. (Yes a bit of pruning on the family tree is in order)
It is so karmically unfair that someone like her can be working on another baby to be taken away while there are millions of us who would lovingly care for a baby, are unable to have one. Sometimes the universe just sucks!